her vagine was all disorganized.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
