I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize