Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
