if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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