Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
