omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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