I'm going to jail i love you
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
