About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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