The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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