i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
