My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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