hell yes lets make some ravioli
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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