didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
