...so i touched it.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
