He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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