people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
false alarm, still single
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
