just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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