the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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