I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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