haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize