My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
