I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
