I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
