I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
