I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
