i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
