foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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