update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
