One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I am available for nakedness
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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