found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize