Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize