Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
