Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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