Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
