he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize