So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
