we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
