he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize