i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
