I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
