i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize