She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
