Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
