Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize