Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
