who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
