You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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