Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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