Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
