I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
meet me or not, i'm out of control
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
