Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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