So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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