The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
