I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you would pick up someone in the library
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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