Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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