im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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