I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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