I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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