I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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