Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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