We're facebook friends in real life
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
