that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
