The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
