I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Say something about gay babies.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
