Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
