I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
