So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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