Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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