this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Rumble strips road head = magical
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
