I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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