i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
