Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize