If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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