: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
