guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
