He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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