I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
