my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
