I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I looked at my own cervix.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He passed out mid-signature
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
