Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
should my penis look like a turkey
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
