Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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