8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
